In the 1997 movie, As Good as It Gets, actress Helen Hunt’s character (Carol) tells actor Jack Nicholson’s character (Melvin) that she doesn’t want to be in his company any longer. When he asks why she says, “You make me feel bad about who I am.”
Yet, the movie ends with these characters about to embark on a romantic relationship: Carol reticently succumbs to Melvin’s momentary charms despite most of their interactions being mired in his self-centered and misanthropic ways.
Me? Carol should have said, “No.” Though the movie title suggests that for these characters this is “As Good as it Gets,” I think Carol could have done better.
The problem: like Carol, often we’re willing to settle rather than trust we deserve better. And in that trust, create space in our lives for better to embrace us.
Awareness of our boundaries is step one. Acting on them, a daily practice. We do this by not allowing people to cross them. We practice being enough when we don’t violate them ourselves.