Oxymoronic as it sounds, “Hover & Stalk,” is an effective Emotional Intelligence strategy when managing projects.
◊ ◊ ◊
The Project
A graphic designer I worked with also trained as an architect. Together we designed my loft bed.
Then she translated my layman’s vision into a blueprint.
Through neighbors I learned that carpentry students from a local technical college would build the 8-foot-high loft bed to gain real-world experience. It would occur under the watchful eye of their teacher and the department head. My only cost: lumber.
The school’s carpentry department head explained how much lumber to purchase based on the blueprint.
The department head chose the project date and would organize the students.
We both signed the school contract after which I drove to Home Depot and purchased for delivery to my loft apartment, $600 worth of lumber.
An eerie silence occurred after that.
One would think a project of this magnitude necessitated communication in advance of the “go-live” date.
Though this was a personal project, not one I managed for corporate life, I did what any project manager would do in this instance. I phoned.
Stalk
Ten days before scheduled construction, my voicemails still unanswered, I drove to the school. Unannounced. As I rounded the bend into the carpentry department, I came across the department head who was on the phone. Our eyes met through the glass surrounding his cubicle. He was visibly surprised. From my purse, I withdrew a copy of our contract, held it and waited.
Upon exiting his cubicle, we greeted. He walked me toward the shop area, buzzing with students on a project. From him, a heavy sigh. Apparently, Department Head spoke too soon when offering construction services by a half-dozen students.
I waited.
He overpromised, couldn’t deliver and would feel no glee in the telling. So, I helped him. “I have $600 worth of cut-to-order lumber in my apartment. What shall I do with it?”
He said: “I’ll build the bed.”
Hover
What I Thought But Didn’t Say: This bed was to be built in a single day by six college-age men and women. If now we’re down to a lone body of any age, construction time just sextupled. I do not trust you to finish this project over an extended time period. Your behavioral pattern telegraphs that you’ll bolt and I’ll be left with a partially-constructed bed.
I asked: “By yourself?”
What I Thought But Didn’t Say: I hope you are picking up the nuances infusing the question. Consider the implications of your offer. Think I’m a nuisance now? Try me for a longer-term version of this project.
“I could ask a friend to help me.”
One friend? Okay, progress in the right direction. An hour earlier I had no bed, no labor and $600 worth of non-returnable lumber.
“My contract is no-fee labor.”
“I’ll do it for free, but you’ll have to pay my friend.”
I’m willing to chip in, not pay full freight. If you don’t like that deal, then I take the contract you signed to the college president and swap it for a $600 school board check.
“How much?”
“$150.”
“Deal.”
The 4 Strategic Dynamics of Hover & Stalk
Surprise. Don’t let them see you coming. Otherwise, they continue to duck and run, which is why you are employing Hover & Stalk in the first place. This isn’t GOTCHA! Rather, you are attempting to communicate face-to-face to advance your project.
Recognize, Don’t demonize. You call them out, you’re done. If they’re human, they already feel bad. If they’re a sociopath, you now have an enemy. Either way, the project needs aren’t met. Too, you might have instigated drama. And drama is an additional project to be managed.
Not Every Thought Need Be Spoken. Compare my thoughts to what I actually said. The difference between the two is sleeping on a beautifully built bed and not the floor.
Be The Tree. Motivational guru Jim Rohn quipped, “If you don’t like where you are, change it, you’re not a tree.” When employing Hover & Stalk, yeah, you are. I entered that technical college and rooted myself in front of Department Head, until I got what I came for: bed or $600. It took two, 12-hour days for Department Head and Carpenter Buddy to complete the project. I didn’t leave the apartment during that time. Neither did they, except during that first night. Did I say, “I’m watching you because the minute I leave, I know I’ll never see you again?” Of course not. I didn’t have to because I Was The Tree. The second day, Department Head showed up alone and finished the project on his own.
